The Thing About Feelings

By: Jhana Williams
Illustrations: http://www.irasutoya.com/

The thing about feelings is... they change! They change because the sun is hot, because it snowed, because your boyfriend didn't respond to your text, because your girlfriend wants you to go steady, because your colleague wore pink to school, because your Facebook friends didn't like your new photo album, because you could really do with your favorite food from your home country. You see that’s the thing about feelings - they change!!! It follows then, that it is definitely unwise to let our feelings direct our attitude. Yes, I said it. Calm right down, and realize that our mental attitude will always determine how our day will go, and since life is really just a total of the many small experiences we encounter... it means that our mental attitude will certainly determine the direction of our life.

You see; I'm sure that you've been through at least 1 situation that left you feeling angry, scared, inadequate, hurt, etc... and that's OK! J Life is just like that. No one, and I repeat, NO ONE has it perfect. Why then are some able to dance in the storm, or to take limes and make tasty Margaritas? I subscribe to the belief that this is because they have practiced how to control their mental attitudes. I will share 2 techniques that you may utilize; they are the acts of compartmentalizing and forgiving. Read on! J

Let's go! By "compartmentalize", I'm humbly suggesting 2 things. First, that we live in "day-tight compartments" and secondly, that we all take steps to separate our feelings from our reactions. I first learnt about the concept of living in "day-tight compartments" while reading Dale Carnegie’s “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”. In short, "day-tight compartments" refer to us taking it 1 day at a time. Of course, we all have future plans, and a past that we check in with ever so often (some good, some bad). But, are we taking the time to enjoy the present? Always remember that  "today is the tomorrow that we were worried about yesterday" and that "the present is a present". Furthermore, learning to place things in mental boxes and packing them away until they actually happen, or need to be addressed is an essential skill that we may adopt in an attempt to acquire and maintain a healthy mental attitude. I can’t tell you just how many times I have worried about things that have already happened, will never happen, or that simply have to happen. This, in turn, creates unhealthy feelings. The only way to fix this is to pack them away into safe compartments, and move on with our lives.

Next, let's talk about forgiveness. The big thing about forgiveness is that we may think that we are finding it difficult to forgive others. However, in reality, we often find it even more difficult to forgive our own selves. We easily say things like I’m so stupid, how could I have said that, why did I wear that, I can’t believe he/she thinks that about me... you get the drift. These feelings create emotions that come packaged in various shapes, sizes, looks, and textures. We need to give ourselves a BREAK! We need to understand that no one is perfect, and this "thing" will not matter in the next couple of years (unless you choose to live with the guilt or the horrible feelings, causing it to become toxic within you). Being able to forgive yourself quickly will help you to be in a better place, mentally.

So, as I was saying! The thing about feelings is they make us ill, and they try to control us! The idea presented here is a challenge for us to find strategic methods that we can effectively use to control our feelings, and free ourselves from the ups and downs that life tends to so generously offer to us. The best results will be achieved after some trial and error, and it will take time. The end result, however, is something that we should work ceaselessly to achieve. That is a positive mental attitude.  The advantages of having a positive mental attitude are so much that this article would go on like the song the never ends. Nonetheless, I can tell you that you will love what it does for your hair, your smile, your skin, your heart, and your life.

LOL (Load of Love),

Jhana